thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
