I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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