Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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