ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize