why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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