Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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