Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
