Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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