does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
