She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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