He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
