Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
