i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
