i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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