Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
