Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
