it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
