There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize