Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
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