I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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