I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
it's not cheating when I paid for it
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
