oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
