my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
