Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
