Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
