6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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