Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
