what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
