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dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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