My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
