i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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