I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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