WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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