i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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