okay pat passed out under dana's car
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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