elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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