If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
