Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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