when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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