Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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