is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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