jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
