He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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