We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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