I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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