brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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