arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
