So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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