I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
