I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
porn star boner night. come get it.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
