I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
