I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
