hell yes lets make some ravioli
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
