I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
