She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
