Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize