yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
