don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
