She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
