please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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